He has been a part of nearly every gaming group at some point. His name recognition in the RPG hobby may eclipse even that of Gygax. He is, of course, “That Guy”.
“That Guy” has been ruining gaming groups with a huge array of specialized talents and tricks since 1974. It is estimated he has destroyed more D&D campaigns than puberty and having children combined. We are pleased to have him sit down with us for a special exclusive interview. That Guy, welcome.
TG: Thanks. Just in case this interview is actually some sort of ambush, I have to inform you, I am proficient in the seven martial arts, and was thrown out of Special Forces due to professional jealousy.
RPGB2: I’ll have to keep that in mind. Mr. That Guy, what would you say your RPG system of expertise is?
TG: All of them, of course.
RPGB2: I see. And how do you normally demonstrate this expertise as a player?
TG: By yelling at the GM that he is doing it all wrong.
RPGB2: How do you view the other players?
TG: Well, to be fair, only roughly half are idiots. Another quarter simply need my continual interruptions and advice to play their characters properly.
RPGB2: And the remaining quarter?
TG: If they are ladies, they obviously find me attractive. You may label any remaining males as idiots, communists, fascists, Jesus Freaks, heathens, "sheeple", or all of the above.
RPGB2: Let us address the ladies who “obviously” find you attractive. What attentions do you lavish upon them?
TG: Uncomfortable touching, arm or back rubbing, or standing within a personal space area so small it would make an overly cordial Indian uncomfortable.
RPGB2: Ah. And does this stop you from screaming at them when they do something you perceive as wrong in play?
TG: (blank stare) No.
RPGB2: To date, Mr. That Guy, what has been your longest duration as a player with any one gaming group?
TG: A Rifts game in 1997. 4 sessions.
RPGB2: Your second longest?
TG: A Living Realms module at Gen Con last year. 4 hours.
RPGB2: Have you ever chipped in for pizza?
RPGB2: What about when you’re the one who suggested pizza?
RPGB2: What about when you’re really the only one eating the pizza, because you threw a fit when they wouldn’t get your favorite toppings?
RPGB2: When people complain about you, what are they?
RPGB2: Because of….?
TG: Either my ancestry or my medical condition…
RPGB2: Both of which are…
RPGB2: Thank you. Mr. That Guy, let me pose a question to you. Your campaign group has decided to play a classic fantasy game, one set in Professor Tolkien’s Middle-Earth. Your compatriots are playing a haughty Elven Ranger, a star-crossed Human Fighter, and a plucky, yet ultimately doomed Hobbit Thief. You will play…
TG: A ninja in a trenchcoat.
RPGB2: And when you attempt to kill the entire party in the first hour of the first session, what is your rationale?
TG: It is what my character would have done.
RPGB2: Is there any game in which a ninja in a trenchcoat would not be a good character choice?
RPGB2: Ars Magica?
RPGB2: Bunnies & Burrows?
TG: (angry glare) NO.
RPGB2: I, ah, see. Perhaps we’d better move along.
TG: Yes, we should. I have to get to the dojo.
RPGB2: You train at a dojo?
TG: I have made my own dojo. In my room. It is there I train myself.
RPGB2: Well, thank you for your patience. One more question: when you’re in someone’s home for a game, do you feel any need to be respectful of their dwelling?
TG: Hey, I’m there to game, not to make friends.
RPGB2: Well, I think that sums it up nicely. Mr. That Guy, thank you for coming along. I notice you decided to sit down and get your dice out expectantly. My campaign group will be here in 20 minutes, the police in 10. Please remove yourself from the premises.