Friday, March 12, 2010

Friday Discussion: Spousal Attitudes Towards Gaming

Yesterday, my wife had a tonsillectomy. Of course, she did great, because she’s about 10 times tougher than I’ll ever be. She’s awesome, and I’m tremendously, unbelievably lucky to have her.

She’s not a tabletop gamer, but she puts up with more of my nonsense and gamer talk than she probably should. She’s been supportive and flexible in me running my biweekly campaign, even if it isn’t something she herself enjoys.

With that in mind, today’s Friday Discussion is all about the spouses (or partners, girlfriends, or significant others, take your pick):

What Is Your Spouse’s Attitude Towards Gaming? Tolerance? Enjoyment? Thinly Veiled Disgust? A Sort of Resigned Support?

Have a great weekend!

32 comments:

Lisandro Gaertner said...

My wife tolerates my gaming behaviour and expenses, but sometimes she tries to put on a fight and make me choose: "Your games or me?". But all in all she doesn`t give much trouble and even, somtimes, when we are in a larger group she indulges in some party and boardgames. Once, because her nephew asked, she played "Last Night on Earth" with us, and to my surprise, enjoyed it.

Anthony said...

When I met my (much) better half she was already a "chemical geek" with a degree in Chemical Engineering and well on her way to getting a degree in Bio-Med. Which sort of sold me on her...the whole sexy-intelligent thing. But when she showed me her collection of Spawn figures...I was in love. :-)

I am lucky enough to have a partner who does not care about my war-gaming, my D&D, or even my whiskey collection...basically I found a keeper, who will even stop to buy me more plaster when I run short while making the latest Hirst Arts building :-)

Tyler said...

My lady and I have something of an ideological divide between us. She's a hardcore Eurogamer with a mad-on for strategy and optimization who's not at all interested in role-playing games, where I love RPGs best and highly thematic board games with sloppy, amusing rules second.

So we have an arrangement of benign non-comment on the other's tastes.

Zzarchov said...

RPG's? Cross between tolerance and thinly veiled confusion.

Euroboardgames? Giant enabler and participant

Video Games? Resigned support given my past work in the field

Sean said...

My wife feels it's well past time I get off my butt and start another campaign.

Jenny Snyder said...

Actually I'm a converted gamer, thanks to my husband. At first I couldn't get into RPGs--too many little rules and fiddly bits to track, and I often felt out of my element since everyone we played with was so familiar with the rules.

Then 4th Edition DnD came out, and I had the opportunity to learn the rules from the ground up along with everyone else. Turns out I love RPGs, I just needed to play with people on the same level as me.

But for that period when I wouldn't play, I guess bored tolerance would have described me best.

Tim said...

In a word: baffled.

SpiralBound said...

My wife is a gamer, be it board games, computer games or tabletop rpgs. When we were first dating, she hadn't played any tabletop rpgs before and her board game experience was limited to games such as Scrabble, Monopoly, etc. Now, she plays many different board games and has been an avid roleplayer for many years! Sure, she has her preferences in games and styles, who doesn't? I couldn't ask for a more supportive partner though!

clash bowley said...

My wife is a gamer.

-clash

Ryven Cedrylle said...

My wife has, on occasion, attempted to get into RPGs since I play them but they just don't hold her attention for anymore than about 10 minutes unless she plays a homocidal catgirl in which she's good for maybe 15-20.

Other than that, I draw a TON of wife aggro for gaming away from the house. She doesn't mind my gaming on MapTool or over Skype at all but if I leave the house for four hours once a week to go game, I might as well start sleeping on the couch. Admittedly I think I could probably do just about anything - even go to church - for four hours once a week without her and I'd probably get the same reponse.

Mr. Gone said...

I convinced my girlfriend to try D&D with us once; she hated it. But, eh, at least she tried it. She still raids on WoW, and even paints mini's from time to time. So she's a little dorkasaurus too. But I always tell her, "life should be more fun."

clash bowley said...

Just to be clear, my wife was a gamer before we married, and we've been married for 25 years come May.

-clash

PatrickWR said...

Tolerance. The constant refrain is "How can you guys do that for six straight hours??"

But, she plays Carcassone and Ticket to Ride and Settlers of Catan, so it all evens out.

Chgowiz said...

Enjoyment - she's the other half of the solo OD&D game. :) She loves to play, but she doesn't look forward to playing in groups. She'd make a GREAT caller. LOL.

Jon McNally said...

My wife has appreciation for the hobby, but little personal interest. Her preferred form of improvisation involves musical instruments, not character sheets.

Still, she picks up the dice now and then; her cleric, Holy Horatio, was a highlight of a recent run through Chgowiz's Swords & Wizardry Quick Start module.

Eric Wilde said...

Bemused tolerance. So long as I change my share of the diapers I'm good.

jonbrazer said...

GF and I met at the gaming table.

kelvingreen said...

My wife said she'd leave me if I played D&D, but didn't seem to mind the Savage Worlds, Call of Cthulhu, Rogue Trader, Fighting Fantasy, and Runequest books in the house. I suspect that there was some BADD-type fear in there somewhere.

Yong Kyosunim said...

My wife doesn't game and is not supportive of my hobby; however doesn't do anything to hinder me other than letting me know of her dissatisfaction of me being with the "other woman".

Anyways, I would prefer it this way. I get to do things I want and have time alone and she gets to do things she wants.

Rognar said...

My wife is cool with it. She tried it, didn't care for it, but she doesn't mind if I spend a couple of evenings a month with my nerdy friends. At least she knows where I am and who I'm with.

Doug Wall said...

My girl is the person who got me into gaming in the first place. Our styles, however, are subtly different. You see, I'm a GURPS, and she's a D&D.

Rick Krebs said...

My wife has supported my gaming activities and expenses for 38 years, while having absolutely no interest in games. I am fortunate.

Referee said...

My wife is resigned to the fact that I game...but she does not like it, as it is another thing that detracts attention from her.

Sounds mean or that I have not honestly represented her...but it is not true.

I think, gaming is just one of those inside thing, that some people either are in the circle of knowledge and hence accepting or are on the outside. Those on the outside mock and are jealous types. I have tried to get her into a game but as we all know, gaming is only fun, the more you do it...or if you start in your youth. Otherwise, it is pretty obtuse.

Anthony Emmel said...

Always fun. When my wife and I met in college (way back yonder in 1993!), she had never played a PnP RPG. However, she had played all the SSI AD&D PC games up to that point. These days, we have 4 kids, between 8 and 14, 3 of whom are girls. They all game. :)

My wife's one complaint is that she feels like I do the exact opposite of the boyfriend/husband GM trait: she thinks I specifically target her to kill. Not quite true: I do attempt to kill her off quick, but that's because she always plays a cleric or healer.

She got smart in our current game: she's playing a paladin! :)

kittysomerville said...

My husband introduced me to tabletop RPGs, and now I'm addicted! I've always liked video games and computer games, but he introduced me to a much broader spectrum of games than I used to play. Now we feed each other's gaming addictions!

Aaron said...

My GF tries to be supportive, but it's really beyond her. She tells me that I should game more often, but then becomes irritated if I spend that mush time away from her. On the other hand, she does seem to honestly think that I'd be a good designer/writer. Maybe because she can't understand how someone can spend so much time on something, and not get a paycheck out of it.

Anonymous said...

She's not a gamer at all. But our courtship occurred during a weekly Champions campaign that lasted nearly two years (with an occasional game of BattleBorn or Expendables), and is delighted when the kids come over to play - rpg or board/card games - and have even gotten her to play Zombies. To top it off, never is heard a discouraging word if I want to buy games.

A_R said...

Met my wife at a game. Knew each other for over a year before we 'knew' each other. Guess I have to thank EGG for our relationship...

Thanks Gary!

Have not gamed in a while, but have been getting back into the hobby slowly. Even her enterest has spiked.

David V.S. said...

My wife and I both enjoy RPGs. Me more than her, but we enjoy playing them together.

I did, however, have to design a rules system especially for a GM and single PC. Her work schedule is busy enough that we gave up on having her participate in a weekly RPG group, so we need something to play at home just the two of us.

mordicai said...

Most of my co-gamers are in PC couples, actually. My wife doesn't "care" per se-- she's just not interested. She'll feign interest when I go on & on about my campaign, at least for a little while, but it isn't a hobby that interests her, in her native state.

Greyaxe said...

Supportive of the event, argues about the continuous collection of "Books you don't use". The event is good, once a month, not to much strain on the relationship. “I don’t want to know” is the standard response when I try to tell her about the game. Overall, anything that get me socializing with humans instead of Pixels is a good thing.

Rob L said...

My wife is decidedly not a gamer of any type. She has a low level of tolerance for the idea, which increases as long as I take our pre-teen son along and don't leave housework undone, and, of course, that I am discreet about it so that none of her friends find out.